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But, apparently so far, I haven’t pleased any of them. First Date: You will fan me and feed me grapes…actually it’ll probably be the other way around. Nevertheless, if I attracted to him physically, I’d be on him like Madonna on an underage Latino.

Actually, I don’t want to put too much information on here, because I can only handle one woman at a time. =) Maybe we could do something like go shopping so I can buy you a new car. But, if we do have a date, or something, then we’ll tell everyone we met when I dropped an egg on your foot at the Walmart (the one on Crenshaw Blvd.).

Not the end of the world, but certainly a deal-breaker for me.

Now, I’m not saying mine is perfect, but I do think mine accomplishes this pretty well.

Mine says, “Writer by day, enthusiast by night.” Not only does this clue swipers in on my actual occupation (we’ll get to that more in #3), but it shows a quirky (yet relatable) thing that I love, invites further questioning (“So do you think Barb is still alive? Do people need to know your MBTI type before they even know your last name? But is it nice to know a little more than where you went to school? My best friend’s bio used to say, “Avid flosser and Dr.

Some cover biggest turn-offs while others re-post the offending profile and call out everything that’s wrong with it. ” I grew up a poor white child in the west San Fernando Valley and I’ll never turn back…because I’m afraid I’ll turn to salt.

I wholeheartedly understand the frustration and often come across barf-inducing profiles that leave me thinking, sweet Jesus, who wrote this blather, Spencer Pratt? I’m a fun and honest guy and I have an awesome job in television.

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